Keeping track!

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Sunday, November 04, 2007

My Grandma

My grandma passed away on the 23rd October 2007 at exactly 4pm. Things can happen so fast and so conincidentially. I was online at 3pm that day and my mum asked if i would like to see my grandma. So she brought the whole laptop and the webcam into the room and i managed to see her. She looked as if she was in pain and couldn't speak. After that, they went offline and at ard 4pm, Shi Hui came online and told me that she has gone.

I was really sad. She was always there for me whenever i needed a listening ear etc.. She was a wonderful cook. She cooks the best chinese food ever.

I am happy though. When i went back to Singapore from the 24th to the 28th, i watched tv on the last night and it was showing the Singapore Cancer Association's charity show on channel 8. It was then i felt happy for her. There are so many people who are suffering from cancer and have to live with the pain and the suffering for a long time - 1 to 2 years. Grandma only had trouble coughing and suffered for less than 3 months. She didn't die the way all of us pictured she would. We always thought she would die peacefully in her sleep - but she did not. She was in pain till she passed away - and that is what makes me the saddest. She didn't deserve that. She didn't and shouldn't have gone in that manner. Still, she suffered short and i hoped...had a very fufilling life. She was always very independent and opinionated. She was a person of pride and dignty. I don't think she would have liked the way she left. But she would have much preferred it. She would want to be a burden and had to be taken care of. Coincidentally, my parents were going to send her to a hospice the next day as we are unable to take care of her properly at home. She would have hated it. She never made it there - but i think she is much happier wherever she might be.

All the conincidences were as if she planned it or maybe it was fate. I managed to see her a last time and she didn't end up where she would not have liked. We never told her how important she was to us and how much we loved her. But i think it was mutual - somethings i guess..don't have to be said.
But i will say it now - I love you mama and i will miss you and am very proud that i had you as my grandma.

Always in memory of my grandma - a wonderful wonderful lady.

No comments:

Post a Comment