It's late. No. Early. 5.44am
Sometimes i wonder. As all humans do. Could my life have been different. With different choices that i make. Relationships that i don't know if i regret or not. Not the current one though. Words i could have said. Situations i should have explained. Time i should have made.
Friends come and go. Would i have more if i stayed? Would they be stronger if i stayed? Technology keeps us connected. By what? Invisible links that lead to no where. Facebook. Friendster. I have. Invisible links i have. Links of the past. Of regrets. Nothing tangible. Nothing real. Facebook it is called. Because that all it holds to me. Just a face. Nothing more.
Blessed. I am. Know what i want. Trying to be different. Trying to make a difference. Maybe that is where i err. Homogeneous is what i avoid. But yet it haunts me. Maybe that's what i crave. But i refuse. i refuse to bow to what i crave. Amends. I make. Too late? I think maybe. Keep trying. Not to submit to cravings. But to fill a gaping hole. My life. My way. My defiance.
My aspirations. Different. My defiance. We only live once. Aims. To fill hole. to fufill my defiance. Stuck. I am. The hole has to wait. I can only continue to defend the cravings that wages war on me. In the dark. In the silence.
Regrets. Stronger. Hopefully.