In these last few minutes (actually 1/2 hr).. actually, by the time i dilly dally, already over long ago le.. but still..
I just want to say Thank you to everyone that wished me Happy Birthday. It might not have been a big deal but it meant a lot to me.
I think i’ve come to a point in life where looking back doesn’t work anymore. Where regrets are as insignificant as your last victory. I don’t know where i’m headed. In the translated words of Zhuang Zi:
“Day after day they use their minds (xin 心) in strife, sometimes grandiose, sometimes sly, sometimes petty. Their little fears are mean and trembly; their great fears are stunned and overwhelming. They bound off like an arrow or a crossbow pellet, certain that they are the arbiters of right and wrong (shifei
是非). They cling to their position as though they had sworn (詛—taken a pledge) before the gods, sure that they are holding on (守—clinging on) to victory (勝). They fade like fall and winter - such is the way they dwindle day by day. They drown in what they do - you cannot make them turn back. They grow dark, as though sealed with seals - such are the excesses of their old age. And when their minds draw near to death (近死之心—their hearts are close to death), nothing can restore them to the light.”
Or in Chinese:
I am thankful for so many things in my life.
I’m thankful that today i finally talked to Eddie and one of my greatest regret is finally resolved and we can move on.. and revive the friendship that once made such an impact in my life.
I’m thankful that i have a comfortable life here with my 3 little ‘babies’. My darling Fish and my troublesome sister.
I think i need to think for my future and what i really want from it and how to get it. I’m like a hermit crab. I don’t dare to crawl out of my shell. But i suppose i must. If not there will be no happy ending.
But i dunno.. i hate being in the middle. Especially when i am so so so tired.
Anyways, i’m grateful for today, for what it stands for, for what is has brought and what it will bring. I just pray i have the courage and ability to accept the challenges that come my way.