Tis was a crying morning.
I lie in bed and suddenly i feel like crying. I cried a little before sleeping cause i don't know how is my grandma now. And i cried this morning for an entirely different reason.
There's this stupid advertisment on tv that keeps going "Sorry guys, but sometimes love hurts" How irritating.
Fish had school this morning. When i was lying on the bed i had a flashback. To my previous relationship and i felt sad that it died out and of all the choices that i've made. Though i'll never regret it at that point in time and maybe even forever if it did not end. But it taught me a lot.
I want to cherish every decision i make and every route i take. I learn more give and take. With Fish, things have to be trashed out. He's my little boy..he just needs time to whine and then he'll come through..he'll understand. We've solved many problems this way. and he has been constantly improving. It never fails to amaze me how he can adapt and change so fast after i talk to him about it. It never fails to remind me of how a relationship should be like.
He gave me everything i wanted from him and i don't want to take that away from myself. I love him and i hope that it will never change.
A guy's love for you or ability to love you is not measured by his ability to give you all the riches in the world. Love is both materialistic and emotional.
Even the poorest guy can satiate your need for materialistic wants by admitting and knowing that he might not and cannot provide you. By making up to you in ways that justify the need for that materialistic want. It is the frankness and honesty that you want in a relationship - at least for a true one.
He maynot be perfect, but i'm not either. Why look for a Mr Perfect if you're not one to complement him? Look for his imperfectness - for its that imperfectness that makes him perfect. It is that flaw in him that triggers your love for him.
I love my life now. I am always with Fish, we can have dinners with friends, go out buy groceries together, go through life insecurities together and i think its nice, its great. I have him, i have my friends - though not a lot. We are afraid that once we return to Singapore all these might change. Change as it might, my heart stays firmly rooted. Because i've learnt and i want to make this promise my very last.
He's coming home soon - and then i can get all the hugs i need and want. =)